i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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