singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
we should paint friendship bongs
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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