He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
