I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize