Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
