I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
