yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
