I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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