Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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