omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
