morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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