im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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