Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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