im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize