I cockslap morals
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
