On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
two words...techno handjob
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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