Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
