you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
