Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
