Three words: puerto rican gang bang
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
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