return my video game
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
