she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
