everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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