I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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