so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
