Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
