do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
