More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
