the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
