Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
