That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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