Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
