I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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