he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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