she was so not down for the gang bang
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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