walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize