Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
