after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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