Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
