so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
