fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
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