I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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