They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
