Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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