she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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