what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
