I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Randomize
