Will you blow on my dice?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
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I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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