I'm gonna have a badass scar
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize