So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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