She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
