While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
