Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
