UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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