She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
