She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
