ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
