I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
