Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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