if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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