"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
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