He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
