i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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