God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize