I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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