honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
She announced her abortion via fbk
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
